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My seven-year-old once came bounding down the stairs after deciding what to go to a fancy dress party as. She was holding a fox mask but she wasn't going as a fox; she was, in fact, going as Robin Hood.

I was proud as punch the day she managed to work the phrase “like Clara from David Copperfield,” into a conversation. What a wunderkind!

But then she went and told someone her favourite character in Beauty and the Beast is the stove. I mean, is the stove even a character?