Tie set, $5

I used to think my parents had no friends. But no, it was just that they and everyone they knew were so busy making a living and raising children that they essentially put their social lives on the backburner for nigh on 20 years. But now that everyone’s retired or semi-retired and with children of marriageable age, my parents have an endless round of dinners, club functions and weddings to attend, as well as taking at least one overseas trip a year. This vintage Yves Saint Laurent tie set ought to take my father from the reception centre to the cruise ship dance floor without a hitch.