Pool float, $2
Church Bargain Shop,
Heidelberg

I needed a large piece of heavy-duty, weatherproof material to drape over the guinea pig hutches in the wet. At an op shop, I inspected an old inflatable pool float, which was $30. The woman who’d donated it happened to be on duty. “It’s in perfect condition, hardly been used,” she said. I explained what I needed it for, and she said, “Oh, you should just go buy some sheeting then. It’ll work out cheaper.” Well, heavyweight waterproof fabric costs between $10 and $20 per metre, while an old pool float only costs $2… if it’s a different pool float from a different op shop, that is.

Guinea pigs, $50 adoption fee

So there I was, momentarily speechless after my five-year-old had inadvertently brought up the subject of incest at the breakfast table. But hey, that’s just part and parcel of life with guinea pigs. Not to put too fine a point on it, but a guinea pig would screw its own mother. So it’s important to have guinea pigs sexed correctly, and to house the sexes apart. The RSPCA has guinea pigs at its shelters, as well as rabbits and ferrets. You wouldn’t want to refer to a pet from the pound as second-hand, but with the surrendered rather than rescued animals you can certainly entertain the hope that they are pre-loved.

Collar, 50 cents

My cats are named Courtney and Curtly, after the West Indian fast bowlers. But people often ask me if they’re named after Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain, as if I was somehow privy to the fact that Kurt liked to be called Curtly by his mates. I was obsessed with my cats for years. Then I had a baby and overnight my love for my cats disappeared. I never thought for a second I was clucky – I honestly thought I just really loved my cats. Luckily, as long as I continue to feed them and change their litter, they’ll never know the terrible truth.



Cat Litter, $26.50



When an individual or organisation chooses to describe itself as “pro-life” my guard generally goes up. But in the case of an animal shelter, the term “pro-life” is nothing to be afraid of. Sure, there’s a bit of subtext embedded in the choice of words, but to all intents and purposes it simply means there is no deadline placed on the animals to get themselves adopted. Pets Haven Pro-Life Animal Shelter supports itself by selling all kinds of pet products in its storefront, including Breeders Choice cat litter, which is made of 100% recycled paper.