Collar, 50 cents

My cats are named Courtney and Curtly, after the West Indian fast bowlers. But people often ask me if they’re named after Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain, as if I was somehow privy to the fact that Kurt liked to be called Curtly by his mates. I was obsessed with my cats for years. Then I had a baby and overnight my love for my cats disappeared. I never thought for a second I was clucky – I honestly thought I just really loved my cats. Luckily, as long as I continue to feed them and change their litter, they’ll never know the terrible truth.